Growing my Hair..... AUGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I have very big hair.  Take your definition of big, and multiply it by 5!  Remember that episode of friends when they went down south and Monica's hair got really big?  Well, that's what mine looks like if I don't try to keep it under control.....which is why I have opted for very short hair for the last 15 years - much less to tackle with a flat iron. 

I was getting bored with my short hair and fantasizing about the ability to combat a "bad hair day" by just throwing my hair up in a ponytail - but for 15 years I didn't get very far in growing it out.  But then one day about 9 months ago my little girl came up to me with genuine concern over the fact that I have short hair and rarely wear dresses, she said with tears in her eyes "Mommy, how will people know you're a girl?".  Luckily, she didn't hear my hubby mumble in the background...."it's called a rack". 

Anyhow, my daughter's distress gave me the motivation to try growing my hair out again - it has been a couple of decades, why not try again?  Change is good, right? Well,  we just got back from a week in Mexico where it was very humid, and I didn't spend a lot of time fighting with my wild mane....needless to say, it very vividly reminded me why I had opted short hair for the last 15 years.  In our family pictures from that trip, all I see is my head of very big hair - it's quite distracting.

Right now, I have managed to grow my hair out to chin level - and no matter what products I put into it my hairdo will fall into 1 of 2 camps - wild and crazy or beaten into immovable helmet-like submission.  I am pretty close to giving up my dream of having beautifully wavy hair that is soft and manageable that I can run my fingers through.  Any tips for a girlfriend - before I go out there and shave my head?