A unexpected moment of sorrow in the last few hours of 2010......

I guess overall I have been very lucky - I had gone through 37 years of life before losing someone close to me, but this year I lost 2, my grandmother and my cousin.  2010 was full of loss and sorrow, so as I sat with friends earlier this evening, I was happy to be saying goodbye to a crappy year.  We had a great evening, with great company and good food - we did an early countdown at 10pm, so we could all get home and put the kids to bed. 
I was walking home (it's a beautiful night) with hubby and the kids when it dawned on me that I will be moving onto a new year, and 2 people I loved won't.  That really hit me hard - and unexpectedly.  It doesn't make sense, they stopped existing the minute they died, but for some reason as I sit here in the last few minutes of 2010, I feel like I am leaving my 2 loved ones behind.  I am moving onto a new year that they won't have existed in.  They existed in 2010, and they won't have ever existed in 2011.  The magnitude of my loss just hit me in a new way....now I am suddenly not so eager to say goodbye to 2010, because that is the last year they lived.... that is where they will always live....and I have to move on.  I feel like I am leaving them behind.
So, I will say goodbye to the last year where they were both alive and step into a new one.  I will count my blessings and be grateful for the friends and family who step into this new year with me.  I hope that 2011 will be kind.

New Year's Resolutions.....or not.

I don't often make New Year's resolutions - why set yourself up for failure?  But last year, I did make a few, and I did manage to keep some of them, or at least make some progress on some of them........ So, I think I will take another stab at it again this year.  What do you all think about resolutions?  Are you making any? I'll share mine, if you share yours!

So here they are, in no particular order.....
Do something about my job. 
I have to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I either have to decide to be grateful for the job I have and embrace and excel at it, or find another one.  I am too young to just have a "job" - it's time to get serious about my career again.

Eat Less bad stuff, eat more good stuff, move more.
notice I didn't say lose weight.  But hopefully that will be the by-product of this resolution!  Or perhaps I am just being passive aggressive.....

Get a better financial planner - stop the bleeding on our savings.
At this point I would have been better off putting my money in my mattress - and it had nothing to do with the financial downturn, we have always lost money on our investments!  Perhaps I should start a business letting people know what stocks we are buying, so they can take the other side of the market and then cut us in on some of their gains!

Laugh more.
I don't really tend to laugh.  I smile, I grin, perhaps the odd guffaw, but I very rarely laugh.  Time to change that, they say that laughter is the best medicine! 

Stop yelling.
My kids know just how to push my buttons, and I tend to yell at them when they do.  I think there was a bit too much yelling in 2010, I would like that to stop.  My mother yelled a lot when I was a child, and I hated it - and I noticed that I am doing it more than I used to.  So, hopefully I can get the kids to make a resolution to stop pushing my buttons......

Less stuff please.
This one is a tough one for me.  We purge quite regularly, but I also buy quite regularly.  So, I will use the library instead of buying the books I want to read, I will make sure my kids only have the clothes they need (I think Kat's 13 pairs of jeans is somewhat excessive for a 7 year old).  I will reduce the number of toys they have, so they play with and enjoy what they have rather than being overwhelmed with tons of toys. 

Love
Remember that our greatest purpose on earth is to love those who we are blessed to have in our lives.  Try to not take it for granted. 


So, as I work towards these resolutions, I will share with you inspirational things I find to help me along - and if you come across anything, do share!
Happy New Year, may 2011 be filled with love, laughter, good health and prosperity.

Joy to the World, the Gravy turned out!!!

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!  Our home was certainly filled with much joy, laughter, and may I say, some terrific gravy!  For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I made a get-ahead gravy which I was afraid didn't turn out  - it initially came out tasting like chicken pot pie.  But just before Christmas dinner, when I added the pan juices, and about a half cup of white wine, the gravy was sublime! Making the base of the gravy ahead of time, certainly did save me some time!!!  I will definitely do this again next year.